I tried to hold still as I contemplated the magnitude of the poem

And I had to tell it to myself and it felt far away but it had to come.

Even with the red wine in the cursing cursing in the vein in the river of the djurdja straights

Would I go

Hamamitsu

Where are you? What is it there?

And what when speaking in tongues to understand

I believed in the current underneath the skin connecting all of us to everyone and to eachother and the repetition of souls and he asked me about the specificity of life and when I really like him

Today all today while the other one spoke to me and I wanted to pop his ego and I didn’t want his help anymore in any way at all because they are all just so egotistical and everything is about making them feel like they know it more.

I could be a small thing in a small space in a small world but god put me in this body and when I am drowning in the metro in Tokyo and the ants are rushing all around me ready to carry my body away

My body is away anyway

And I am a small

Invisible

But yellow mark on the wall,

My body is tall.

When he speaks to me in tongues and I see some of my thought on his mind

And can sense a relation

What then?

What of it then?

The one in the small body was loud and I thought of j. cassid and I really really like her and her work and everything she represented in the possibilities of the worlds before me, and max and his subjectivities and I wonder if you remember when you held up my face and you pressed it into yours and you stood there kissing me in one kiss for minutes like you were calling me from where I’d been before and you wondered where I’d been

And I wondered too because obviously, I repeat, obviously, in a glaring blaze before my brain and my mind which I know to be what I have and I hold true to it and sometimes you just have to let yourself go but not this time because obviously I was a drift and a float and free free from the form that was around me and you tried to pull me down and the soft blueness of the way you pulled me down lay like a shadow and will lie like one too for years to come because everything, even the way you skipped yourself like a stone and you opened my mouth and I breathed into yours and I ate the chocolate shape of your mouth eaten by mine

And you let go

And the separation

Is the beginning of an apple bit into pieces impossible to puzzle into one.

Someday when you are old enough to note the variation in the wood and the rondure of the world,

the ocean that is an abyss becomes a connection

And I sailed and I watched her sailing

And how she fired up those eggs

and it was a dream

and it was all in a dream

and it was all in a dream I'd forgotten

even as we asked about it

and knew

in a sensitive way

that it was there and it would always be there

always all along.

.